Little things..

Everything that passes someday comes back..

To be continued...

My angel came in the blur of a pink blouse and her faded jeans. We took the long winding road back to the room where I live these days, after a couple of beers.

We went up and she sat on the bed harassed by the afternoon heat. And I looked at her, knowing that I was uncapable of falling in love with anyone else. And I was uncapable of not loving her.

I tried, time and again. I tried to push her away, to hurt her, so she would start hating me. She never did. With all the pent up frustrations she always went on loving me. The world could see it in her eyes. And I was like a truant kid, tarnished with mistakes, giving them a cumulative nomenclature of "experience".

And when I went back to her she would hold me in her arms and I was all cruel and bold the next day. So I hurt her again.

She is my goddess, my worship. She taught me love. And I tried being the evangelist of lovelessness.

And then this day came, when in all that heat of a dry Indian summer she made "love to me". (I take the liberty to call it that because she always told me that was it, when it came to me and her, it was always meant to be like that and it has always been that). And I thought maybe it was all falling into pieces.

The sinner was forgiven. Once again we shall be together. Maybe she will show me the way this time around.

And I made love to her like I never did before.

After that she said, "this time it was just this time". She had come to walk away. She could not wait for me anymore. She had moved on. There were other people kissing her now. I was just for the afternoon. Cest la vie. This was when I made love to her with the feeling of getting her back. And she was going away.

My mother, my woman, my child. All dead on the highway. I got blood on my white satin shirt. The ancient desert gloats on the death it has to offer.

I see my angel walking farther away from me, the pink of her blouse intermingling with the red dust of the desert. She is walking into the azure of the horizon. Moving faster then a dream. We have a common Guardian Angel. THE HIMALAYAS. Ancient, proud, arrogant, youthful, modest and caring.

We walked ancient alleys together. Alleys full of kidnapped stories of pain, perversion, tears, loss. We dreamt of changing faces of the same.

And we lived through poison ivy, and we rode the winds to the foothills of our pilgrimage, The Kanchendzonga. Never was life so full of life. And the we fought. And we cried through the night in each others arms.

I walked down dark alleys in the middle of the night, drunk and stoned feeling guilty for lying to her. I walked down and held her in my arms and she said, that made everything all right.

And then we fought again because she would not let me do things that I wanted to do. And I moved , pushing her away.

Said to her,"You go your way, I go mine

                    Best of luck for what you find.."

Constatntly fighting with myself to keep her away. This drifter's happy place was always full of her.

Somewhere in my heart I locked her up in trunk, so that no evil eye could fall on her. And then I let her languish in the dark streets, hurt, unprotected. I was scared. But I was not man enough to do anything about it.

And I pushed hr away, being with women, degenerating constantly. I was starting to lose myself. I became the epitome of everything I always believed to be awful. Admist all that whenever I went back to her, she would hold me in her arms and I felt pure again.

I thought that was all over. This time I could go back to her and never leave again. She was home. And I kept believing that old saying about home-" Home is where, when you go back, after having done your fair share of mistakes, they have to take you in".

And it all seemed perfect when she let me make love to her. She does not let anyone and everyone do that. 

But I was wrong. She was not there to take care of my home this time.

Suddenly you look up to the stars and the entire sky is on fire. And you start buring with it.

Purgatory for the sins I committed due to my human limitations. The arrogance of greatness came crashing down.

I had made myself believe that I cry with the maligned ones. I days of anxiety and desperation I had drank with men and women to celebrate their joy.

"That is what great men do"- I told myself.

And she was always a part of me. So I forgot to live for her.

And today I sit here alone, emptiness all around me, the facade of greatness razed to the ground. And people with whom I shared emotions in the darkest of times, inspiring hatred for me.

And my angel is gone. She wants to be someone else's angel now.

 

"But for your sake, remember times we used to know.."

To be continued....

Tranquil tea plantations, grand monasteries, charming hilltops and the Kanchendzonga. That was childhood for us. That was Darjeeling for us. The flaming red rhododendrons, the sparkling white magnolias, the miles of undulating hillsides covered with emerald green tea bushes, the exotic forests of silver fir - all under the blanket of a brilliant azure sky dappled with specks of clouds, compellingly confirms Darjeeling as the QUEEN OF HILL STATIONS. Darjeeling conjures visions of serenity, of vibrant green hills steeped in splendor, a land of breathtaking beauty crowned by the majestic Himalayas.

 

Originally called Dorje Ling, or 'Place of the Thunderbolt’, we grew up here with caressing guardian angels called the Himalayas. Situated at an altitude of 2590 meters (8482 ft.) and 13 kms from the town, this spot has earned international fame for the magnificent view of the sunrise over “Kanchendzonga " and the great Eastern Himalayan Mountains. Even Mount Everest, the world's highest peak, is visible from here. If you have lived, imagine dying somewhere else.

He prescribed "Turn on Tune in Drop out". And a whole new generation based on a new moral code and a new light of consciousness was spawned.

Timothy Leary (1920-1996) was a Harvard University professor of psychotherapy who was arguably the father of the beat generation.

Leary's father was an alcoholic who abandoned the family when Timothy was 13. A Roman Catholic mother tried to get her son to go in an upstanding path in life. The heights which Tim explored would have fascinated her but for the paths he crossed to get there. He was a disappointment to her. Drunkenness and lying got him kicked out of West Point at 17. When his mother wrote to him in 1941 and said and asked him not to cause a scandal with his life, he replied in a brash manner, telling her, "I would rather starve in the gutter than be a 100% good fellow" ("Timothy Leary: The Man Who Turned on America," The Biography Channel). The next year Leary was kicked out of another school when he was found in the girl's dormitory.

In the mid-1950s Leary rose to becoming the Director of Psychological Research at the Kaiser Foundation and taught at Berkeley University. This was a period when he and his wife were involved in heavy drinking and adulterous spouse swapping. In early 1960, he joined the Harvard Center for Personality Research. That same year Leary took his first dosage of hallucinogenic mushrooms, and he was permanently changed. Believing that psilocybin mushrooms created mystical perception that could reprogram the brain, Leary persuaded the school authorities to allow him to devise and administer the "Harvard Drug Research Program."

Leary's research with psychedelic drugs led him into occultist eastern religions and the study of the Tibetan Book of the Dead, the Bhagavad-Gita, and The Upanishads. Leary led 10 theology students at Harvard to take psilocybin in an attempt to test whether it would produce religious experiences. This was when his preaching of enhancement of the subconscious started. Nine of the ten agreed that the drug high was religious in nature. Leary's research co-worker, Richard Alpert, traveled to India for spiritual enlightenment and returned as Baba Ram Dass. "He became one of America's most respected teachers of Eastern disciplines", writes Mikal Gilmore in his book Night Beat. Aldous Huxley, and especially his work- The Doors of Perception, influenced them to a great extent. The book which describes Huxley's experiments with mescaline is also believed to be the inspiration behind the naming of the iconic group "The Doors". Jim Morrison, the rock poet would keep talking about the "cleansed doors of perception" throughout his short yet influential life. The influence was such that Huxley, in his death bed, requested that he be injected with LSD; thus dying as he lived, high on hallucinogenic drugs.

Harvard authorities feared that Leary and his companions were going too far in their drug research and he left Harvard in 1963 when his colleague, Richard Alpert, was fired for giving hallucinogenic drugs to a student. By then, Leary had tried the psychedelic drug lysergic acid diethylamide (called LSD or acid, for short), which was first synthesized in the 1940s by Albert Hofmann in a laboratory in Switzerland. Hofmann describes his first experiment with it: "At home I lay down and sank into a not unpleasant intoxicated-like condition, characterized by an extremely stimulated imagination. I perceived an uninterrupted stream of fantastic pictures, extraordinary shapes with intense kaleidoscopic play of colors."
He described his first LSD high as "the most shattering experience of my life" and "the deepest religious experience of my life" and became a passionate advocate of the drug. He became the LSD high priest of the rock & roll movement and founded the League of Spiritual Discovery, pushing for LSD to be legalized as a religious sacrament. Leary called hallucinogenic drugs "the religion of the twenty-first century." He urged people to "discover your own Christhood" and develop "your own moral code." Leary's 1964 book The Psychedelic Experience (co written with Ralph Metzner and Richard Alpert) was intended to advocate LSD as a tool of spiritual enlightenment. Leary cited passages from The Tibetan Book of the Dead. The introduction urged: "Whenever in doubt, turn off your mind, relax, float downstream."

Leary went on calling some of the rock musicians "the philosopher-poets of the new religion." He called the Beatles the "four Evangelists" and "rock stars become holy men" and their Sergeant Pepper album, "the sermon from Liverpool." He urged people to learn from the Beatles the message of "love and peace and laughter." His slogan was "Turn on, tune in, drop out" (turn on to LSD, tune in to the new consciousness, drop out of 'straight' society). Leary believed that LSD could enable children to mutate "up to a higher level of existence."

The rock & roll crowd went crazy for LSD in the 1960s. It was estimated that chemist Augustus Stanley III produced and distributed 15 million LSD "hits," many of which were distributed freely at rock concerts.

Leary appeared on stage with the Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane, Quicksilver Messenger Service, and others. John Lennon read Leary's book The Psychedelic Experience in 1966, after Paul McCartney took him to the Indica, a hip New Age bookshop in London. Lennon wrote "Tomorrow Never Knows" after taking LSD. Lennon wrote the songs "Come Together" and "Give Peace a Chance" for Leary. Leary joined John and Yoko Ono for their bed-in for world peace. The Who song "Seeker" is about him. Jimi Hendrix sought Leary's help in interpreting dreams. Syd Barrett attributed Leary with part of his inspiration. Sadly, LSD resulted in the decline of Barrett too.

Leary envisioned the overthrow of the present social structure and the establishment of a new hedonistic order: "An esthetic, 'hedonic era' in which the symbol of the messiah will be a nude couple and the purpose of life will be pleasure", wrote David Noebel in The Legacy of John Lennon.
In 1979, Leary created a program called "The Creation of the Future." It had three ideas: "(1) Space migration, (2) intelligence increase, and (3) life

Leary was an enthusiast of Satanist Aleister Crowley. He said: "I've been an admirer of Aleister Crowley. I think that I'm carrying on much of the work that he started over a hundred years ago &Mac183; He was in favor of finding yourself, and 'Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law' under love. It was a very powerful statement. I'm sorry he isn't around now to appreciate the glories he started" (Late Night America, Public Broadcasting Network, cited by Hells Bells, Reel to Real Ministries).

Leary tried to treat life like a never-ending game, but he could not escape the wages of sin. Leary lived with many women and married four times. His first wife, Marianne, bore him two children, Susan and Jack, but in 1955, when they had been married eleven years, she committed suicide due to heavy drinking and Leary's adultery. Soon thereafter he married his research secretary. The union was short lived. His next marriage, to Nena von Schelbrugge in late 1964, was also short-lived. He was 44; she was 24. Leary developed a romance with Rosemary Woodruff in the summer of 1965 and they were married in late 1967. They were arrested in early 1966 for marijuana possession and Leary was sentenced to 30 years. While free on bond awaiting appeal of the conviction, Leary was again arrested for marijuana possession in December 1968 and sentenced to another 10 years. At the end of the trial in January 1970, the judge ordered the 49-year-old Leary to prison immediately with no bond. With the help of the radical Weathermen underground movement, Leary escaped prison in September of that year and fled to Algeria to join the Eldridge Cleaver and the Black Panthers. He then went to Switzerland, finally to Afghanistan, where he was captured by U.S. agents and brought back to the States to complete his prison term. In 1994 it was reported that Leary met with FBI agents and agreed to inform on the Black Panthers in exchange for leniency in his sentencing (Karen Gullo, "1960s guru was FBI informant," Associated Press, July 1, 1999). After being released from prison, Leary told the press, "I am glad to be descended from Eve, who told Jehovah God to jump back in his squad car and go back to headquarters." Leary was released from prison in 1976 and married his fourth wife, Barbara Chase, in 1978. Leary and Barbara divorced 15 years later. Leary's son, Jack, stopped talking to him in 1975 (Night Beat, p. 414). His daughter, Susan Leary Martino, shot and killed her boyfriend in 1990, then hanged herself in her jail cell.

Timothy Leary died of prostate cancer on May 31, 1996. Leary's long-time friend, beatnik poet Allen Ginsberg, was scheduled to visit him in July, but Leary died a few weeks before then. "But in the hours preceding his death, Ginsberg's Buddhist teacher, Gelek Rinpoche, managed to reach Leary, uttering a final prayer for his passage into death" (Mikal Gilmore, Night Beat, p. 436). Thus, Timothy Leary apparently died with a Buddhist prayer on his lips or at least ringing in his ears. (The homosexual Ginsberg defended NAMBLA, an organization dedicated to lowering the age of consensual sex between men and boys. He boasted "about the many men he had seduced throughout his lifetime." Ginsberg died in April 1997 at age 71 of liver cancer.)

As he neared death, Leary put on a party front but he was worried about his life. One of his friends told the Biography Channel that he would say to people, "I was a good boy, wasn't I? I did all right [with my life], didn't I?" The friend conjectured that this possibly came from his religious upbringing as a Catholic. The fact is that God has left many witnesses to Himself in this world, including creation and conscience, not to speak of the preaching of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The most irreligious man cannot escape this light. Sadly, Leary rejected the Bible's plan of salvation through faith in the blood of Jesus Christ. Instead, he sought enlightenment through the false paths of drugs and hedonism. He made his own plans for afterlife. He arranged to have his brain preserved via a cryonics system, and he paid $4,800 to the Celestis Company to have his ashes blasted into earth orbit in a satellite. The rocket was launched in March 1997. Other remains accompanying Leary's ashes on his space journey included those of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, a space physicist, a rocket scientist, and a four-year-old Japanese boy. After orbiting for a few months or years, the satellite will fall back to earth and burn up.

 

 

 

Welcome to my world..says the soldier. His world is full of landmines and empty shells.

Welcome to my world, says the adman.. HIS WORLD IS FULL OF BAD COPY DAYS..

Welcome to my world, says Calvin. His is full of acid.. and dreams..

Lets write on the walls of colleges, universities, public toilets and coffee joints. </P>

Lets write trash.

Lets trash the institutions that have been built upon the greatest trick- Faith.

Lets write about the war in Korea, forgotten often never heard of.

Lets write how the communist institution of China defied faith.

The Chinese entry caused an immediate escalation of the air campaign. From November 1950, General Douglas MacArthur ordered that a wasteland be created between the fighting front and the Chinese border, destroying from the air every “installation, factory, city, and village” over thousands of square miles of North Korean territory. As a well-informed British attaché to MacArthur’s headquarters observed, except for Najin near the Soviet border and the Yalu dams (both spared so as not to provoke Moscow or Beijing), MacArthur’s orders were “to destroy every means of communication and every installation, and factories and cities and villages. This destruction is to start at the Manchurian border and to progress south.” On 8 November 1950, 79 B-29s dropped 550 tons of incendiaries on Sinuiju, “removing [it] from off the map”. A week later Hoeryong was napalmed “to burn out the place”. By 25 November “a large part of [the] North West area between Yalu River and south to enemy lines is more or less burning”; soon the area would be a “wilderness of scorched earth”, (Bruce Cumings)

And we thought that was ideology.

Lets write about counter-culture.

How genius was impregnated with marijuana from Laredo, and about how poets were imprisoned for obscene, because they were sad.

And who reads? You read , I read and reads all those lostwho went prospecting for a soul

Angels who lost their wings to napham and nuclear warheads will read. The ammend is not to make a difference.

 

The idea is to let them know that there are people who suffer as they do.

The economy of Germany was in shambles at the end of World War I. The population was decimated. The government-this was the Weimar Republic, which was in power from 1919 until 1933-looked to popular eugenic theories for ways to restore and improve the health and physical wellbeing of the populace.

In 1932, inspired in part by Laughlin's Model Eugenics Law and other writings in the United States, the Weimar government drafted a plan for sterilizations of individuals with "hereditary illnesses." Many people were living in institutions, and they were costly to the country. Sterilizing them would prevent them from having children; some might then also be able to leave the institution and live on their own. The plan involved those to be sterilized (or their guardians) in decisionmaking, requiring prior consent to the procedure.

The next year, the National Socialists-Nazis-took control of Germany. On July 14, 1933, the new government issued its "Law for the Prevention of Progeny with Hereditary Diseases." This law was far more directive than the Weimar government's plan. People with so-called hereditary illnesses had to be sterilized, even if they objected. And the list of persons classified as hereditarily ill included those suffering from "congenital feeble-mindedness, schizophrenia, manic depression, hereditary epilepsy, Huntington's chorea, hereditary blindness, hereditary deafness, and serious physical deformities." People with chronic alcoholism could also be sterilized. The law established some 200 Genetic Health Courts at which teams of lawyers and doctors would subpoena medical records in order to choose candidates for sterilization. The Court proceedings were secret, and the decisions could rarely be reversed.

Throughout Germany, doctors were being trained in "race hygiene." They were identifying and zealously reporting those in their communities who had any of the so-called genetic diseases and would be candidates for sterilization. The Nazis and Nazi doctors also were promoting the eugenics strategy of "selective breeding" as a way to rebuild the nation's population, specifically its Aryan population.

In the six years before World War II, the Nazi doctors sterilized some 400,000 people, mostly German citizens living in asylums. Hitler's Rassenhygiene-race hygiene-program was in full swing. "The 'racial' health of the German people took precedence over the health of any given individual." (See included JAMA article.)

By the late 1930s, the Nazi government was using propaganda movies to persuade the public that those who were hereditarily ill and, therefore, dangerous to the health of the nation should be exterminated rather than kept alive as "neutered beings." The targets for extermination were objectified as "beings of lesser worth," "life unworthy of life," "ballast existences," "useless eaters."

In the autumn of 1939, Hitler approved the Aktion T-4 program, which authorized specific doctors and officials to carry out mercy deaths-euthanasia-of those the state deemed unworthy of life. Fifty volunteer physicians coordinated the program from its headquarters in a villa in Berlin located at number 4 Tiergarten Street (hence the name T-4). Again, physicians at hospitals and psychiatric institutions throughout Germany identified and recommended candidates for euthanasia.

At first, in accordance with the T-4 program, the physicians murdered 5000 congenitally deformed children. The children were given lethal injections or were starved to death at six special asylums that had been remodeled to accommodate the killings. Then, the T-4 program expanded to include adults, who were taken to killing asylums as well. Death certificates were sent to families of those who were killed, falsifying the reasons for their relatives' 'sudden deaths.'

Eventually, church groups and the general public raised objections to the T-4 program. In response, Hitler called a halt to the program. But, by then, August of 1941, almost 70,000 people had been killed under T-4. And, although Aktion T-4 stopped, the killing did not.

Doctors and nurses around the country continued to select and kill people and cover up their actions. Physician historian Edzard Ernst writes that Aktion T-4 "turned out to be nothing less than a 'pilot project' for the extinction of millions in the concentration camps." Most of the health care practitioners involved in T-4 simply transferred their "technology for killing on an 'industrial scale'" to the Aktion 14f13 program. Through this next program, six million Jews were exterminated in the gas chambers of the concentration camps as well as millions of political prisoners, Gypsies, the handicapped, those too ill to work, Jehovah's Witnesses, homosexuals, Afro-Europeans, and Soviet and Polish prisoners-of-war.

Hitler's race hygiene program relied on and succeeded because of the enthusiastic collaboration of people in the medical community. Wrote Ernst: "German physicians had been involved at all levels and stages. They had developed and accepted the pseudo-science of race hygiene. They were instrumental in developing it further into applied racism. They had evolved the know-how of mass extinction. Finally, they also performed outrageously cruel and criminal experiments under the guise of scientific inquiry. The aim of generating pure Aryans had taken precedence over the most fundamental ethical issues in medicine." Under the Nazi medical system of routinized killing, writes physician historian Michael Burleigh, "no one was safe in the presence of the carers."

German physicians conducted numerous 'medical' experiments in the concentration camps between 1941 and the end of the war. Karl Brandt, Hitler's personal physician, suggested that the camps would be the perfect "laboratories" for their experiments. Experimentation was pivotal for race hygiene, and killing could be rationalized and "treated not as murder but as healing-as a therapeutic imperative aimed at preserving the health of the one racial community which really mattered."

The physicians considered the people in the concentration camps to be the "living dead." If they served as objects of medical research, their useless lives might have some utility. If they died, nothing was lost. They were destined for death anyway, being unworthy of life.

The concentration camp doctors perfected techniques for sterilization and euthanasia. Did high doses of radiation bring about sterilization? What about new surgical techniques? They injected people with gasoline and shocked them with electricity to see if these procedures would kill them. They took away the prisoners' food and watched to see how long it took them to starve to death.

The camp doctors used twins in many of their experiments, because twins provided a perfect built-in 'control' for each study. One twin would be injured, infected, or treated in some way and then let die. Then, the other twin was killed, so that their bodies could be compared. The Nazis also were interested in twins because, if they could figure out how to produce more twins, the population could be restored faster.

When the doctors wanted to complete a skeleton collection at the Reich University in Strasbourg, they selected 112 healthy Jewish prisoners, photographed them, measured them, and murdered them. They studied their bones and tissues and then sent the bodies to Strasbourg, where the flesh was removed and the skeletons put on display.

The eugenics-based horrors of the Holocaust were influenced by political, economic, social, and military factors. But it was the added factor of the Nazis' total disregard for the rights and dignity of human beings that made the Holocaust possible.

first day of internship.

First official advice.."One of the first things that a copywriter needs to learn is how to look busy"

I am sitting on the desk with a book-"Born in 1842, a history of advertising", a piece of paper and a pen trying to look busy.

At times you stsrt believing that you are somebody else. Its like playing a role in a play. And then the individual fades out, the role takes over for good. Your life becomes the life of the character you are playing. Its like you are born in Ahiritola but you believe that you were born in Algiers and instinctively you stand up when the Algerian national anthem is playing.

 

Captain America is going to die. Lets mourn for a few minutes.

Another two minutes for the death of the owner of the fingers which types this piece of junk. Glory to the role he is playing..An aspiring copywriter, who plans to change the face of Global Advertising. This is not raising one's collar. As the person who writes this is not the man we are talking about. Its like attaining glory by playing Othello in a college play.

 

Live free..........

 

"Freedom's just another word for nothin left to lose"..

              Kris Kristofferson

 

 

She writes.

She asks me,"I can't think of anything to write about. Tell me what to write bout."

I think and it gets me nowhere. So I say what comes instictively. I say write about your work.

Work, workplace..working...